The Pampler’s Guide to Going Back Home for the Holidays in Style!

Going back home for the holidays? This is your ultimate guide to packing smart for and dropping just the right lines to convince everyone back home that you’re that b*tch who made it in the city. Why not lean into the rom-com fantasy they’ve got of you? They don’t need to know that your mental health is on some f*ck shit and they sure won’t be able to tell when you are out there rocking Off-Whites looking like the shit.

Besides, if every inch of your pathetic soul isn’t itching to flex on these people who’re perfectly content with their suburban lives, what has this been all about? Show that middle-aged neighbor you’re cooler than she thinks by casually dropping names she won’t recognize (and some she will, just for fun).

Your mom’s best friend’s daughter might be engaged to some surprisingly decent-looking guy—but did she ever hook up with a producer who worked with Drake in 2015? Didn’t think so.

Uh oh, someone’s playing the latest hits? Hurry yourself to their corner and casually mention you party at the same clubs with the artist.

Below, we put together an editor-approved list of outfits that will, undoubtedly, wow everyone at your suburban holiday party.

Off-White Swiss Cheese Tank Top, $500

Gucci Leather Jogging Pant with Web, $3,500

Balenciaga BB Gloves, $895

Maison Margiela Tabi sequin boots, $555